Soul Exist After Dead?

When my gran (mum side) passed away in the 80's, I was in my early twenty. I still remember all my aunts surrounding her bed when she suddenly proclaim that she cant breathe and after a few seconds of struggling she finally relaxed and with a peaceful smile on her face she went.

She was a grand lady in her 90's. Some of my aunt was hysterical while some just suppressed their feelings and let loose a torrend of tears.

For me, it is my first encounter of a family member passing and one who is close and doting to me, yet I cant describe my feeling of her passing then but today I think I have acted sort of level headed and to a certain extent cool. It is not that I dont feel sadness in me, as a matter of fact, I know tears are welling in my eyes but I am trying to come into grasp with reality. My gran have life a full life and being frail it is a blessing that she passed away peacefully and at her age.

Probably the main reason I did not give in to my emotional built-up and wail hysterically was the influence of the mixture of lifes sciences, religious, historical and philosopical books that I read which talks about human nature - we come and go.

Some would say it is Gods calling but biologically speaking we, humans are born to die. Who dont die? It is a mater of whether it is natural, like my gran or it is unnatural. If we cant accept this biological facts than we have a problem. The question is after someone passed, where does he goes? Does he exist?

For the theist, he went back to God. (but that will depend on what religion you profess) or went for reincarnation or went to hell or went to paradise -.

But where does the dead actually goes if it goes anywhere at all or if the dead exist at all after death.

Once when I was in another country. I saw a dead chap who was knifed - his eyes and mouth opened but void as if calling for help or saying that no, i dont want to die kind of look on his dead face.

It gave me a shiver to see that but that is my first experience of looking at a dead body.

The sight generated more questions in my already turbulent mind. Where do the death goes? Again if they goes anyway at all or if ever there is such a thing as a dead person going anyway?

Some religion taught that there is a soul and after death it return to the maker or goes to hell, heaven, paradise or reincarnates.

But soul is something which is formless, no one can see nor hear. The chinese prepare a feast for the death soul to return home on the 49th days after their passing but I have been thru 3 feast yet have never so much as seen any sign of anyone/or anything returning which is supposed to leave a mark for the living.

So I am kind of dissapointed becos I am not able to come into terms with whether soul or life after dead existed at all or not? Did my beloved gran and father return to visit me? In what form did they return? Why cant I reach out to them? Is it becos nothing actually existed at all after we are biologically dead?