I've been searching for the meaning of us having to live to die for the better half of my life but till today the answer still seem elusive.

BTW, for the uninitiated of "agnostic???" here's a link:
Bertrand Russell....(my fav philosopher..check out his book, why i am not a christian) and another explanation here: Dictionary

Both the above explanantion touch on christianity but i think it is applicable to every other religion as well and to all race.